29 years ago today ...

Today is the 29th anniversary of my marriage to Debbie. I first published this article over five years ago, shortly after I heard David Posey's Sunday sermon on 1 Peter 3:7.

I’d been cooking professionally for around 10 years when Debbie and I were joined in marriage in 1981.

I knew everything there was to know about cooking. Of course I did. After all, I’d fed thousands of sailors during eight and one-half years active duty service.

Deb first made her mother’s iced tea sometime after we had moved into a Bakersfield two-room apartment. Seven Lipton tea bags, a pint of water and a cup of white sugar went in my good Revere Ware saucepan.

Next came the annoying part. She’d boil the tea until it turned to syrup. She’d then strain the syrup and dilute it into a pitcher.

For years, I tried to correct her tea-making ways. After all, I was the expert. You never boil tea. Just ask Mr. Lipton.

I’d turn the burner to low heat, clean the range-top and chip tea candy from my good Revere Ware saucepan.

This might be amusing except for a "minor" verse in Peter’s letter to the pilgrims of the Dispersion. I say minor only because I didn’t hear much about it until recent years -- I didn’t want to hear much about Peter’s command to husbands.

These may be the most important 34 words in the Bible for husbands:

Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered (1 Peter 3:7).

Husbands are to live with their wives. This means you’re to dwell with her in close harmony. To dwell with one's wife "with understanding" means that husbands are to know, to understand, to comprehend their nature, especially as it fits in the marriage relationship.

Learn about your wife, what pleases her and what makes her "tick." And honor your wife by putting her on a pedestal. She’s the love of your life, no one else.

Remember that as Christians, you and your wife are "heirs together." Study together, pray together, worship together.

And husbands, there’s a much more serious side to the equation. Peter says that your prayers before God will be hindered if you ignore his command. We have a solemn duty to God and to your wife to dwell, understand and honor.

The outcome: I gave up over 10 years ago. Somewhere along the way I realized my life with Debbie transcended Navy-approved culinary techniques. And she makes a great cup of iced tea (this comes from a guy that grew up on unsweetened iced tea).

Oh, I’m drinking a Mason jar of Deb’s iced tea while writing this blog. It’s one of those sweet tea drinks that grows on you.

Give yourself 29 years!

DEB’S ICED TEA

2 cups cold water
1 cup granulated sugar
7 tea bags

Combine ingredients in a one-quart saucepan over medium-high heat. When the tea boils, reduce to a low simmer. Simmer until tea reduces to the desired strength, about 30 to 60 minutes. Tea will have a syrupy consistency at this point. Please be very careful. Hot tea syrup is akin to culinary napalm -- it burns.

Cool; strain syrup into a two-quart beverage container and dilute with cold water. Make sure to gently squeeze the tea bags to get as much tea as possible into the water.

To serve, fill a Mason jar with ice. Pour tea over ice and enjoy. Squeeze fresh lemon into tea and stir, if desired. Store in the refrigeration for 2-3 days. It'll be time to make a fresh batch!

A lonely time at camp

It's been lonely at Deer Crossing Camp without my wife. I took her home last night so that she could stay with our son, who returned from a summer at grandma's house.

It didn't really hit me until 11:30 this morning, when I sat down for the first time during lunch production. I felt a tear or two as I scribed notes in my camp cooking notebook.

An acute emptiness came over me. It's strange. As long as I was busy this morning, I didn't seem to miss her as much.

It's that empty feeling you get when half is missing -- a void that can only be filled one person, my wife of 28 years. Staying busy only takes my mind off of her for a few minutes.

Although we were at odds in the kitchen sometimes -- probably because I acted like the chef even when Debbie was in the kitchen. It's tough trying to be both husband and chef when your wife is one of your workers. It's a relationship that needs great care and understanding.

Still Debbie was a great comfort these past seven weeks. We'd talk when things became stressful in the camp kitchen. She's always been a good shoulder to lean on, especially when I was willing to listen.

We had a unique relationship at Deer Crossing Camp. Debbie and I were the only married couple at the camp for most of the summer. We'd talk in the evening and work out our differences.

Even though we had some rough days in the kitchen -- probably because her ideas differed from my on some issues -- I've learned to approach marriage as designed by God.

I treat her with understanding and give her a place of honor in my life. After all, we're "together of the grace of life" (1 Peter 3:7). I doesn't make sense to me to treat my wife any other way.

I'm going to continue to miss Debbie as I work this last week at camp.

Unlike the training session last June, when I didn't see her for 10 days, I have a day off on Sunday. I'll be home in time to pick Debbie and Jacob up so we can worship in Camino.

A thankful homecoming ...

Now, here's something to truly be thankful for ...

CORONADO, Calif. (Nov. 25, 2008) -- Culinary Specialist Seaman Tour'e Burt embraces his newborn child upon his return to Naval Station North Island after a six-month deployment aboard the Nimitz-class aircraft carrier USS Ronald Reagan (CVN 76).

U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 3rd Class Joshua Scott.

Motherliness

Today is a special day in many respects. Foremost, we assembled with the saints in the Camino-Pollock Pines area to worship our Lord and Savior. The day is also special because my wife, Debbie, was able to have all her children and grandchildren under one roof. Yesterday was the first time that all three grandchildren, including two-week old grandson David and four-day old granddaughter Nevaeh, were together.

Mothers everywhere rejoice with Mary who "kept all these things in her heart" as Jesus "increased in wisdom and stature" (Luke 2:51-52). On that note, I reprint an article from Gary Henry on motherliness. So read and enjoy ...

MOTHERLINESS by Gary Henry

Some human attributes are typically found in women more often than in men, and "motherliness" is one such trait.

Notice carefully the word: It's not just "motherhood," but "motherliness." Motherhood is the biological fact of being a mother, and it may or may not be accompanied by motherly attitudes and actions. Usually it is, but may not always. And so we properly pay tribute to those women who've not only borne children but having done so, have also given their children the great gift of motherliness.

Motherliness is not just a trait; it's a virtue. It's something to be admired and praised. Yes, it does come naturally to most women, but the actual following instincts on a day-to-day basis requires choice. It requires work. And it requires no small measure of sacrifice. Those mothers who have gone beyond motherhood into the realm of real motherliness are to be honored in the very highest way.

In some parts of the world, May is the month when "Mother's Day" comes around. This is a day to remember our mothers for their greatness -- and if they're still living, to express our appreciation to them personally.

Fortunately, greatness as a mother doesn't require a woman to have achieved many of the things that the world admires; "success" (at least in the usual sense) is simply not necessary. And that's a good thing because not many of our mothers had any realistic chance to make a mark that the world would notice. But oh, how they loved us! And if today we had little else in life but the love our mothers gave up their lives to give us, we'd still be wealthy, wouldn't we?

Reprinted from Gary Henry's Enthusiastic Ideas. You can subscribe to the daily motivational message here.

Deb’s Iced Tea and Living with Your Wife

I’d been cooking professionally for around 10 years when Debbie and I were joined in marriage in 1981.

I knew everything there was to know about cooking. Of course I did. After all, I’d fed thousands of sailors over eight and one-half years active duty service.

Deb first made her mother’s iced tea sometime after we had moved into a Bakersfield two-room apartment. Seven Lipton tea bags, a pint of water and a cup of white sugar went in my good Revere Ware saucepan.

Next came the annoying part. She’d boil the tea until it turned to syrup. She’d strain the syrup and dilute it into a pitcher.

For years, I tried to correct her tea-making ways. After all, I was the expert. You never boil tea. Just ask Mr. Lipton.

I’d turn the burner to low heat, clean the range-top and chip tea candy from my good Revere Ware saucepan.

This might be amusing except for a "minor" verse in Peter’s letter to the pilgrims of the Dispersion. I say minor only because I didn’t hear much about it until recent years -- I didn’t want to hear much about Peter’s command to husbands.

These may be the most important 34 words in the Bible for husbands:

Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered (1 Peter 3:7).

Husbands are to live with their wives. This means you’re to dwell with her in close harmony. To dwell with one's wife "with understanding" means that husbands are to know, to understand, to comprehend their nature, especially as it fits in the marriage relationship.

Learn about your wife, what pleases her and what makes her "tick." And honor your wife by putting her on a pedestal. She’s the love of your life, no one else.

Remember that as Christians, you and your wife are "heirs together." Study together, pray together, worship together.

And husbands, there’s a much more serious side to the equation. Peter says that your prayers before God will be hindered if you ignore his command. We have a solemn duty to God and to your wife to dwell, understand and honor.

The outcome: I gave up about five years ago. Somewhere along the way I realized my life with Debbie transcended Navy-approved culinary techniques. And she makes a great cup of iced tea (this comes from a guy that grew up on unsweetened iced tea).

Oh, I’m drinking a Mason jar of Deb’s iced tea while writing this blog. It’s one of those sweet tea drinks that grows on you. Give yourself 24 years!

DEB’S ICED TEA

2 cups cold water
1 cup granulated sugar
7 tea bags

Combine ingredients in a one-quart saucepan over medium-high heat. When the tea boils, reduce to a low simmer. Simmer until tea reduces to the desired strength, about 30 to 60 minutes. Tea will have a syrupy consistency at this point. Please be very careful. Hot tea syrup is akin to culinary napalm -- it burns.

Cool; strain syrup into a two-quart beverage container and dilute with cold water. Make sure to gently squeeze the tea bags to get as much tea as possible into the water.

To serve, fill a Mason jar with ice. Pour tea over ice and enjoy. Squeeze fresh lemon into tea and stir, if desired. Store in the refrigeration for 2-3 days. It'll be time to make a fresh batch!